It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
