Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
