Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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