so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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