Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
