Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
