so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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