God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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