I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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