I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
