based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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