he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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