youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
