its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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