he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
