You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
