when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I pour the whiskey from now on
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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