I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
