Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
