Already got asked if we're dating
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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