so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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