I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i came on her dog
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
