Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
