First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
