How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
