im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
