Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize