Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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