Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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