physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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