Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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