I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
