Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
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