If that was your dad, he is hot
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize