I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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