It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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