just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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