Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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