Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
