I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
