Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I smell stomach acid.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize