Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I need a burrito and a hug.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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