So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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