Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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