you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
