I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
