can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I currently don't understand fingers.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
