Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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