I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
