whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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