That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
