My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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