he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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