I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize