I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
