so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
