its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
