Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
