My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
