thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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