Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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