I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
