I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize