Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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