Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Houston, we have a squirter
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
