come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
