have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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