she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
