He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
